A hole in my heart

Mommy,

This anniversary instead of remembering the last two years without you, I decided to celebrate all the years we've spent together.
I no longer want to think about that tragic day 2 years ago, but instead I want to remember everyday of every year we lived happily.
Want to treasure all the memories of the trips to visit each other, remembering and reliving the emotion of waiting for your arrival, for the hugs and kisses, every Skype call we made, all the lunches and dinners we did online, all the shopping trips, the laughing and remembering the amazing grandmother you were.
I can still smell your scent, and feel the touch of your hand, like if you were here with me.
I can see every detail of your hands and face, every expression, every smile.
Sometimes, I act as if you are still here and share my thoughts, my plans, and my ideas with you. At times is like I can almost hear you…
My life with you was so complete so filled with love and joy and everyday I hope I can be half of the woman you were.
I work on my patient a lot because that was one of the things you were so good at…being patient. 
I choose to think everyday when I get ready in the morning of how you liked my clothes, my hair, and how pretty you thought I was. It fills my heart with happiness remembering how proud you were of me.
So now, everyday, I decided to think of a moment  we lived, or a memory of something you were really good at and happy with, and I hold the thought until I can feel that emotion and smell your scent, and it fills my heart instantly like if you were really here with me.
Mommy today more than ever I love you and I thank you for being the best mom in the world. I am so grateful for all the years we lived and so grateful for even now with you gone I am still learning from you.
I Glam Your Image everyday with loving thoughts of the amazing, stylish, elegant, subtle woman you were.
All my love,
Betinha

1951-2010